Saturday, November 14, 2009

A Big Fuss for a Little Dress

People, you just don't know. It seemed like a pretty simple task. Choose a dress for the event tonight. So, I did.

Pretty sexy, huh? Wait until you see the back-

Oh yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about.

Certainly you are not so naive as to believe that our work here is done? Oh no. Here we go. Fasten your freakin' fashion seat belts because...

Exactly what do you think I'm going to wear underneath that?
Let's evalutate the situation.

The back is open. OPEN. LOW. Soooo, no bra.

What?! No bra?!

Yes, hell has frozen over- I might go without a bra. I could ya know. A 34 B has a little jiggle but...
Okay, you've convinced me. I shall find a bra.

Are you happy now? Because I hope you are seeing as I am going to have to G-L-U-E it on my boobies. Have you spent a nice evening with glued boobies? I didn't think so.

And this is just the top half.
What about the legs? NOW what are we going to do since you're so Stephen Hawking over there, huh?

I want these:

But you say, nooooo, no. No. No. Because, you say, the dress is already busy enough with all the bling, bling- it'll look tacky.

Let me get this straight. I've got glued taa taas and you are worried about me looking tacky?

How about this, you say?

Hello? It's November. And you know I'm a white chick. Now you're going to have to make me mess with this inconvenience:

I'm not booking a spray tan appointment. Do you really want me to end up like this?

This is what I'm wearing and it's final. DEAL.

What about the shoes? Good question.

These would be so hawt!

Yes, you agree. They would. And should there be name tags mine can say;
Hello I'm: MarilisaAndalsoAHooker

Well. What about these?

Hello I'm: MarilisafromaplanetfarFarAway

Well, I'm going with these and it's final.

Oh, for heaven's sake. Of course I'm not wearing one black and one purple. How many shots of Bourbon have you had this morning?

Yes, *we* are all done-

Now my only two directives this evening well be:

1. Do not make out with a girl on the dance floor when they play Katy Perry. While, after two or three glasses of chardonay on an empty stomach I might think that's cute. It's not. Really. Not.

2. Do not drop it like it's hot on the dance floor either.

If I'm a little tipsy and can't be sure, I can always check the crowd for one of these:

Otherwise, me and my puddy kat are going to rock da houze!


  1. I hope you found the 'Nu Bra' for the fab dress! It works like a charm (I wrote all about it a year or so ago

    Were the cuffs a part of the dress or an addition? LOVE it!

  2. I think i'm scared!! You do realize you have to climb into my SUV to get to the event tonight, right?? "A"

  3. This is hilarious!
    Great dress, killer shoes, sassy attitude... yeah you're gonna break some hearts.
    Of course you know we're gonna want to see some photos....

  4. I'm very impressed. My notion of a "busy outfit" is wearing more than two colors. Little black dress, stockings and some pure-D awesome shoes; way to go! Everybody's going to know who the real "event" at this event is. Do try to have a good time, won't you?

  5. Marilisa, that is so unbelievable and definitely NOT your basic black dress. I am sure heads will turn and most of the women there will be green, and not from excessive ETOH intake. Have a hot time and never look back.

  6. i go without a bra all the time, who cares? this is how god made you, be proud! ;)

    LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the shoes...actually i really love the gold ones too, but it all works.

    Have fun tonight, good luck, and I say drop it like it's HOTTTT!!!!!


  7. Well, it's a good thing I'm not going to be at this event, since I'd probably make out with you on the dance floor.

    Great post.

  8. You're great, the post is great, the comments are great. I love it, You gave me here a lesson in fashion! You're something!!!

    Have great fun and tell us all about it!

  9. Chloe - I like the gold shoes too. We must be from the same planet.

  10. Scandlous Housewife,

    Thank you so much for that link and also the follow!

    I screwed up too. Because when I glued my bra, I put the cups down a little too low, so if you looked close, I kinda had that grandmother sag going on, which my do not sag, those stupid glue cups made the sag. Not exactly brining sexy back, am I?

  11. "A",

    You made me laugh when I was getting in your SUV and you smugly said, "See? I told you."

  12. Becky,

    Aww, thank you! You're always so sweet to me.

    I'm working on your photos now.

  13. Postman,

    You're such a doll.

    I had an enchanted time. Thank you.

  14. RNSANE,

    Ethanol, also called ethyl alcohol, pure alcohol, grain alcohol, or drinking alcohol, is a volatile, flammable, colorless liquid. ...

    I did so good. You'd be proud of me. No unattractive, can someone please hold my hair back throwing up or anything.

    Thank you for the kind words. You are always so affirming.

  15. Chloe,

    I should have gone without a bra afterall. So what if someone sees a little nipple. I'm sure they won't die.

    I only dropped it a wee bit when Nicole danced over to me on Flo Rida "Low" and she started taking me WAY, WAY down with her.

    Shorty got low, low, low, low, low.

    I was like, oh...oh my. Oh..okay. Boom! lol

  16. Polly,

    I kinda missed making out on the dance floor. If you want, next year fly down to Dallas for the party, as there's one every year, and I'll totally hook you up. (Got five bucks?) LOL

  17. DUTA,

    Why thank you. You're pretty great yourself.

    I'm just about to tell you all about it, yes.

    If you'd ever need any fashion help, as I do, my friend Robin over at is a great adviser of all things hip and hot.

  18. Polly and Chloe,

    You two seriously liked those shoes? I don't know about you guys...