When one becomes aware of, because awareness first, is the start, and consistently does these three easy things, it's nearly impossible for you not only to have the life you've dreamed of having, but to expand your world in ways you never imagined.
1. Excellent Level of Social Skills
Sometimes the hardest part of any social situation occurs when you are standing there and they are standing there and the elephant in the room is that awkward silence as to who is going to break the ice first.
What I have found that works for me like a charm upon which I always rely, I simply extend my hand and say, "Hi. I'm Marilisa."
After that I listen and ask questions.
Again, pretty easy.
But you'd be surprised at just how many people break out into a sweat, feel their pulse race, feel their stomach tense up, and, because they don't know what to say to the other person, run off to get another cup of coffee!
That used to happen to me -so I know.
Oddly enough I had a ton of experience dealing with crowds. Give me a crowd to entertain and I was perfectly fine. Give me two or three people to talk to and I felt like I had turned green, grew a couple of horns and was definitely having a bad hair day on top of that!
But then, at the grand opening of Belks department store, I had my aha! moment.
"Hi, I'm Linda-" she said, extending her hand.
Oh, geez. That's all you do?
Yep. That's all you do.
A word though, about the handshake.
If I get a limp-fish affair, a half hearted, oh- uh huh-I'm-just-acting-like-it's-nice-to-meet-you, I think: what's wrong? More specifically, what's wrong with you?
Now is your chance to set the tone! Don't waste it.
Look them directly in the eye, give a firm grip and state your name.
A firm grip denotes you're somebody to be taken seriously.
You're somebody to be trusted.
You're somebody that's going somewhere.
All the time people, especially men, will comment, "Wow. You've got a good grip. I like a confident woman."
2..High Level of Professionalism
a). Don't Be Late-Ever.
If you're late to an appointment or business meeting, you just let that person know what you think of them. Not much.
Don't be late. Period.
The number of good people I had to let go from employing was because, gosh darn it, I ain't running a baby sitting service! They were always late.
b.) Dress More Important Than They Are
In his excellent newsletter which I've signed up for, Frank Rumbaukas http://nevercoldcall.com/ perfectly describes this point.
"After all, the leads won't help you if they won't buy from you.
However, many salespeople buy into the stupid myth that if you "dress like your prospects" or "dress down to make people comfortable" that they are doing the right thing.
In reality, all they're doing is destroying their personal power.
In sales, you need to have a prospect's trust before he or she will hand over hard-earned money. Trust comes from respect.
People respect those who look like the people they turn to for advice.
Who do prospects turn to for advice?
Attorney's, accountant, consultants, financial advisers and so on.
Do the most successful of these people dress casually?
People have unconscious triggers in their minds that can either help you or hurt you.
If you dress like a powerful authority figure, those unconscious triggers will instantly associate you with someone who can be respected and trusted...
If you dress casual, those triggers instantly associate you with people who have no power and influence, and who therefore cannot be trusted with a prospect's business."
Frank candidly goes on to say, "When I lived in Phoenix and worked in sales I actually got resistance and objections from my sales managers because I wore a suit every day, while everyone else was wearing golf-shirts and Tommy Bahama shirts.
Guess what- I out-sold those casual reps by huge margins and most of the time I didn't even have to tr to beat them.
I can even remember prospects saying, "This is the guy we want to go with," as soon as I walked into the room, before they even had a clue about who I was or what my pricing was like. It was all about using appearances to create instant trust and respect."
I want to stand up and cheer for Frank when he concludes, "That is the hidden power of personal appearance."
Booyah! Hallelujah! Pass the plate!
Last year, we had a very big account come our way. Kim Cloud, owner of the tres chic and very exclusive Cloud 9 Salon and Spa http://cloud9salon.com/ asked one of our companies if we could give her a bid on planning and staffing her very well known, very well attended, very much anticipated fashion show.
It's a big deal. All the mayors from the surrounding communities come. The State Representative came, Tan Parker, Senator Jane Nelson, members of the Dallas Cowboys, members of the United States Congress representatives and in short, the movers and shakers from miles around.
The best part about this fashion show is not just a self-indulgent promotional exercise, (although there's absolutely nothing wrong with promoting- everyone should know about you and your business) but Kim has formed her own charity in which she is giving back to the community and thinking of others. Particularly children and the abused or the victimized who could be abused- http://sueweavercause.org/
I like that.
I admire Kim and have learned a lot about business and life from watching her.
We count her as a friend, client, and I don't think I've ever been frank about telling her, but mentor.
At first, Kim didn't know us, nor did the people on her Board of Directors-
My husband always shows up to a meeting in a crisp, professionally ironed shirt and tie or suit, prepared and polished and ready to work. I have to say when he walks into a room, people notice.
I'm so proud of him like that.
Now this fashion show is Kim's baby. It's her reputation.
Everything we did with Kim conveyed, listen- you can trust us. It's good business to do business with us.
Consider the reverse.
What effect do you think it would have had if we schlepped over there in our jeans, flip flops and t-shirts?
I think she would have been gracious and I think she would have called someone else. And I wouldn't have blamed her one bit.
DRESS, DRESS, DRESS. And did I mention, dress?!
Visit http://budgetgrrl.blogspot.com/ for tips on how to look fabulous without spending a fortune.
c.) Come Ready to Work
Have all your pertinent papers in order, your portfolio organized.
Don't make an excuse, "Oh gosh, I must have left that at home, or at the office or in my other car." Yikes.
And most of all, take notes in every meeting.
It's a compliment to the speaker, in this case, the one you're meeting with- and don't think that it won't go far with them that you thought them important enough to write down what they had to share with you.
3. Be a Confidence Exude-er
I did not start with "be self confident" because in order to "be self confident" you must have something to base it.
By faithfully putting into practise the above three steps and a few sub points, confidence is just bound to burst out of you like fireworks in July.
People like to get involved with people who know where they're going.
Be one of those people.