A Big Fuss for a Little Dress

People, you just don't know. It seemed like a pretty simple task. Choose a dress for the event tonight. So, I did.

Pretty sexy, huh? Wait until you see the back-

Oh yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about.

Certainly you are not so naive as to believe that our work here is done? Oh no. Here we go. Fasten your freakin' fashion seat belts because...

Exactly what do you think I'm going to wear underneath that?

Let's evalutate the situation.

The back is open. OPEN. LOW. Soooo, no bra.

What?! No bra?!

Yes, hell has frozen over- I might go without a bra. I could ya know. A 34 B has a little jiggle but...

Okay, you've convinced me. I shall find a bra.

Are you happy now? Because I hope you are seeing as I am going to have to G-L-U-E it on my boobies. Have you spent a nice evening with glued boobies? I didn't think so.

And this is just the top half.

What about the legs? NOW what are we going to do since you're so Stephen Hawking over there, huh?

I want these:

But you say, nooooo, no. No. No. Because, you say, the dress is already busy enough with all the bling, bling- it'll look tacky.

Let me get this straight. I've got glued taa taas and you are worried about me looking tacky?

How about this, you say?

Hello? It's November. And you know I'm a white chick. Now you're going to have to make me mess with this inconvenience:

I'm not booking a spray tan appointment. Do you really want me to end up like this?

This is what I'm wearing and it's final. DEAL.

What about the shoes? Good question.

These would be so hawt!

Yes, you agree. They would. And should there be name tags mine can say;

Hello I'm: MarilisaAndalsoAHooker

Well. What about these?

Hello I'm: MarilisafromaplanetfarFarAway

Well, I'm going with these and it's final.

Oh, for heaven's sake. Of course I'm not wearing one black and one purple. How many shots of Bourbon have you had this morning?

Yes, *we* are all done-

Now my only two directives this evening well be:

1. Do not make out with a girl on the dance floor when they play Katy Perry. While, after two or three glasses of chardonay on an empty stomach I might think that's cute. It's not. Really. Not.

2. Do not drop it like it's hot on the dance floor either.

If I'm a little tipsy and can't be sure, I can always check the crowd for one of these:

Otherwise, me and my puddy kat are going to rock da houze!

Want to Make Real Money? Here's How:

Three months ago I launched a spin off business, which was actually a byproduct of my existing company.

Here is how exeedingly powerful this principle is that I want to share with you today.

In three months, the spin off business is generating the same revenue that it took its parent company FOUR YEARS to make!

How'd I do that?

                                   Leverage.

Here is how it works.

Let's say I want to move some sandbags. I thus begin my Super Sandbags R Us business.

I can move all the sandbags myself, if I want. But how long do you think it will take me to make a pile like this though?

Exactly!

You're right! You'd ask, Entrepreneur Chick, why don't you get some people to help you?

So I do:

(Chloe? That was for you. You know I'm always thinking of ya.)

This is my Super Sandbags R Us staff and I teach them everything there is to know about moving sandbags efficiently.

I develope a well-rounded and comprehensive Sandbag System that everyone understands.

No one can move sandbags better than us.

PRINCIPLE #1

Make sure, if you'd like to make a lot of money- you can leverage your business by creating a replicatable system.

PRINCIPLE #2

Never do yourself what you can pay someone else less to do.

We're not Gossiping, We're Networking!

"Did you hear she tried to kill herself two weeks ago?" "WHAT!?"

"Yeah. Really. She took sixty nine Tylenol right in front of her husband because she found out he was having an affair. He did nothing to stop her. She claims she was trying to "test his love" or some such stupid thing- she went to a mental institution but they let her out. I don't know why they let her out. They shouldn't have let her out."



This was part of our conversation a few Saturdays ago.



I have to say, though I feel sorry for the aforementioned woman and though we can't fathom, in our wildest dreams, "Who would boink Brad? I mean, Brad? Brad? Eww", it is nice to have a friend who trusts you and who you trust.



Business is only part of the story. You have to have balance.



My friend "A" even tried to show me how to make something in the kitchen last week. There were only 3 ingredients so I think I can handle that. She's going to teach me how to make Christmas stockings too- and I sincerely hope our friendship can long endure it.



(This little monkey, who she says is quite jealous of her husband, sits on her bed- so I thought it was very appropriate!)

Hell Hath no Fury- Don't I know it!

For our English homeys, your dawg, William Congreve, was a playwright and poet. (1670-1729).

Obviously this guy was married to an entrepreneur chick. This is how I know. Often misquoted as, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned", actually the verbiage was:

"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned." (Spoken by Zara in Act. 3, scene 2 "The Mourning Bride".)

Any way you word it, women can get really pissed off!

I'm going to confess to you now, that this is my biggest weakness. And, ironically, this is my biggest strength.

While being short staffed or other business related inconvenient irritants does not exactly qualify me as being "scorned', it does irritate the living daylights out of me. I get extremely angry when things do not go right in my companies.

After I calm down a little bit I realize though- okay. Deep breath. What do I need to do to fix the problem? After a few beers, or a some nice Cabernet, I set a plan in motion to that end.

It would be nice, however, if I could merely recognize the problem, not get my thong in a wad, and then set about, calmly, sensibly, rationally, to fix it.

But I prefer doing a little ritual that my Dad always referred to fondly as: "Going ape shit."

After I would go "ape shit", he'd like to say, reflectively, "Well, Lisa- you brought it all on yourself."

But why is anger my biggest strength? Because I can't accept a status quo life for myself- which makes me a little miffed, knowing I can do better- so I do.

But pass the sack of ape food- I'm going to need it for later.

Screwed Up? Ask Yourself, "What Did I Learn?"

In all labor there is profit. Which makes me feel awfully good because that means that all those countless business meetings (saw a book- "Death by Business Meetings") were not a loss.

I've struggled for a few months now as to what to do with one of my companies.

The most major problem I was having with it had to do with the fact that it was a luxury product and service... uh huh. Now THAT was a smart move for 2009, wasn't it!?

Ah well. None of us have crystal balls.

I appreciate the feedback I've gotten through blogging- most specifically,

Kim Ayres, who, being an expert in the field I had inadvertently launched the said business- took the time to review and comment on my dilemma.

He said, "Your website is crap on a number of levels." Hahahahaha. It IS! I adore it when people simply level with you and cut through the nicey-nice.

What did I learn? I learned that I'm proud of myself for forging ahead with an idea and concept, knowing nothing about it, and still pulling together the various components to pull it off- for a little while.

I learned there's a whole lot of people out there with a whole lot of talent who know what's going on- and I'm glad I can defer to them.

I learned that a fundamental rule of business failure is always going to be under capitalization AND to keep throwing money into a losing proposition does not turn a sow's ear into a silk purse.

I learned that I lost interest, and sometimes have the business attention span of a ferret.

I learned I do not like dealing with the general public, but only business to other busineses.

I learned that I still have to take a risk when I think I have a viable idea anyhow, and that money is only an idea- but I have an idea that I lost a lot of money!

Still, in the end- moving on an idea is usually always going to be worth it 'cause I'm Entrepreneur Chick and I can't help myself.

Have You Had Sex with a Robot Yet?

And this is why I really don't want anyone I know to read my blog, my employees to read my blog, or {gasp} my (paying) clients to read my blog.

Sex with robots.

You think I've lost my mind? While I might not be able to cook my way out of a brown paper bag, one thing I am adept; is spotting a market trend.


"I believe that it is enividable that within five years- people will be having sex with robots", says author David Levy, "Love and Sex with Robots"

Love it. Hate it. Or invest in it.

The only thing Levy needs, he says, is someone like Entrepreneur Chick.

"It's just a matter of finding an entrepreneur willing to put up the capital to combine these sex dolls with existing artificial intelligence technology to make dolls that react to their sexual partners through speach and movement."

Well? Who's got five bucks?

Are These Two Rules Yours For Success?

It's pretty straightforward and completely measurable for me. Success.

I don't want anyone telling me what to do.

I make more than I spend.

Certainly, the above is a measure of what I consider to be entrepreneurial success only. How many people, perhaps men in particular, have been a tremendous business success, and yet, have bankrupted their family on emotional levels? Is that person a success? I would think not.